Today I will be doing chemo round ten of twelve and the feeling that I am getting close to the end of my treatment is now starting to dominate.
Even though I have been taking it well, it has been a rough ride with diarrhea more or less constantly and nausea, fatigue, skin problems, cold sensitivity, tingling in my hands and feet, and many more side effects.
There has been no one thing where I could say that this is because the chemo is so terrible, it has been more like fifteen to twenty smaller side effects that all in all makes it very hard to bear. When I was in round five to eight, I started having anxieties in the week leading up to the chemo; it was tough on my family and tough on me. Starting at round nine, the doctors decided to turn off one of the drugs: Oxaliplatin, a drug known for causing neuropathy, in hands and feet. That was a big relief since I at the time felt that I got an electric shock, every time I touched something or did a little running. This drug also creates a severe sensitivity to cold, both when going outside and when drinking liquids. I had to have everything heated up close to body temperature.
Friday a week from now, it has been 365 days since I was diagnosed. I feel relief, knowing that I am getting close to the end of my treatment, I am mentally preparing myself to lead my new life as a cancer survivor that is healthy, and well. It is a big step for me, and my eyes are tearing while I write this.
I am blessed, I was diagnosed while there was still hope, I have met many wonderful people in the past year who were not that fortunate. Some of us are “reborn” with a new perspective on life, while some of us, young or old are not that lucky, and have to face the fact that their newborn baby or young kids will lose one of their parents at a very young age. It is mind boggling to think about it, and it makes me very humble and thankful as I slowly, one step at a time, am completing this metamorphosis into a new caring, happy and healthy family father, husband, and human being.
I wish for you that you every morning when you wake up, will be thankful and enjoy life, it is very precious and fragile and wonderful…